Forward by Tobias Sugar

In this collection of my mother’s writings, I did my best to assemble them, so there is not too much overlap. Some were written recently, some a decade ago, many incomplete. Some chronologically and some not. She was not finished. A few people she didn’t get to, but you know who you are. She lived fast in a lot of places, and slow in a few. She struggled with love, and with health. She was an ex-nomad, ever disconnected from a home she never really found. But she was passionate about many things, many people, and was very loved.

My mother was fiercely independent. After many years alone, she became more and more set in her ways. Her impending health issues made it harder and harder to enjoy what she loved more than anything: going to Europe. She moved to Portland in 2015, to be closer to me and her grandchildren. Boston was cold much of the year and that was always hard on her. After spending perhaps a decade too long there, I convinced her to finally move. It was hard for her. Disruptive. And a decision that felt like the beginning of the end. “I feel like I’ve come here to die.” She told me once.

Just a few years later, she was diagnosed with liver disease. It was a slow decline. And over the years the effects of the condition took their toll. Finally, in 2019, she was diagnosed with colon cancer. Four months later she was placed in hospice care and finally passed in February 2020. She elected to have assisted suicide. My wife and I were there with her. She was cremated. In 2021, I traveled back to her beloved Sperlonga and spread her ashes at the back of the cave in the freshwater spring near her favorite beach, called the Sorgente di Levante. https://goo.gl/maps/KeVFUbRgMoVoCuC87

I hope these chapters bring her to life.